The art of forgiveness

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." Rumi

One of the biggest obstacles to creating the life you truly want is not being able to let go of the past.

You may not even be consciously hanging onto the past. It could be a hurt or a negative belief that happened when you were a child and is now so deeply ingrained you don't know it's there. Until something triggers it and then it rises up to sabotage you.

Learning to forgive is one of the most freeing experiences you can have in life.

Recognizing and accepting that what other people may have said to you, done to you, or done to others that you have witnessed is part of the life lessons everyone faces. That doesn't mean you don't feel hurt or pain or anger over the event or situation. It simply means you need to recognize the situation as it is and find a way to let those feelings go, or they - the feelings - will keep you from living the life you truly want and deserve.

It isn't always easy but then sometimes the most rewarding tasks are the ones that require the most persistence and determination to accomplish.

Now, here's another fact to think about: For most of us, it is easier to forgive someone else than to forgive ourselves.

Either way, you need to practice forgiveness for people, events and hurts that have touched your life and left an emotional imprint. If you don't learn to forgive, and you hang onto the emotions, they will continue to affect your life in so many different ways - in physical ailments (also known as "body syndromes"), in holding you back from succeeding, in depression, even in serious or terminal illness.

Here are two ways to learn to forgive. There are other ways but these are simple to learn and easy to incorporate into a daily practice.

(1) Ho'oponopono as explained by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Len. 

Ho'oponopono is the Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness for everything that happens in your life. Dr. Len believes that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life so you must forgive yourself in order to clear out the negativity and fear that you are projecting out into the world, which then becomes the experiences you have in the world. In other words, everything you see - whether it's a first-hand experience or something on the news - is a direct projection from inside of you. To change what you see around you, you must first change yourself. More importantly, you must learn to love and forgive yourself.

Here's how: Simply repeat "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you."

"The idea of Ho’oponopono is to work directly with The Divinity, saying to The Divinity incessantly: “I Love You; I am sorry; Please forgive me for whatever is going on in me that I perceive this in a certain way; Thank You.”, and then allow The Divinity to make the corrections, which is to transmute the garbage (memories) in my subconscious mind back to Zero, and then out of that Zero (void), Divinity can come forth."    Source: Zero Limits by Dr Joe Vitale and Dr IhaleakalaHew Len

Forgiveness is not about someone else. Forgiveness is about you; it sets you free.

(2) Use the power of blessing as explained by Gregg Braden

In his book, "Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer," Gregg Braden offers this process for blessing the people, events and situations that have in any way caused you pain. This includes blessing yourself for things you have done or believed about yourself that have caused you to feel anger, hurt, pain, betrayal or any other negative emotion that you hold within you.

It is a three-step process and each step is important for the release so don't skip any.

First, state: "I bless (and here place the name or names of those who have been hurt, including you if you are the one who has been hurt)

Next, state: "I bless (here place the names of who or what has caused the hurt; be as specific as possible)

Then, state: "I bless me in the witnessing."


As Braden further explains, "Although the reason for our hurt still exists, what has happened is that we've changed the way we feel about our hurt. This is the power of our blessing."

We create our world based on our feelings. When we change how we feel, we change our world.

Again, forgiveness is not about overlooking or dismissing negative behavior. It is about understanding that such things occur, and rather than letting these painful events fester within and ruin our lives, we can let the emotions go and look at life from a perspective of love.

Practice the art of forgiving every day and watch how your world will change.

What is abundance?

There seems to be some confusion as to what is abundance. In our current social environment, it would seem to be money.

I am constantly getting emails from strangers telling me how I can make a "six figure income" on the Internet using their same methods. Or, my personal favorite, the frequent email offer to "earn $7200 a month working from home." I'll admit I was curious. So instead of simply deleting the emails, I read a couple of them. I found that the "six figure income" offer in both emails was exactly the same - exact same sales pitch, exact same copy on the sales letter, exact same screen shot of the income adding up in the account - it was just from two different people (supposedly). Interesting. The price for learning the secret to unlocking these riches was different as well. Perhaps "Paul's" secrets were better. But what kept jumping out at me was the focus on money.

Now, there is nothing wrong with money. I love money. Not for its sake alone but for what it enables me to do. And that's the key.

Money alone is not abundance. Money is a tool. Real abundance doesn't require money at all. Real abundance comes from living a joyous and fulfilled life. There are a lot of rich people who are not living abundant lives. They may have millions in the bank but they are living empty, meaningless and painful lives. Check the daily gossip columns if you don't believe me.

Understanding abundance and putting it to work right now is one of the vital elements in creating the life you want to live.

Here's why.

Your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. It responds to your emotions. If you feel poor, if you believe you are living in a world of scarcity, your subconscious mind will work to keep you poor and living in scarcity. If you believe abundance is directly tied to your checking account balance and your balance is in the red, you'll be focused on a feeling of lack. And your very powerful subconscious mind will work hard to maintain you in a place of lack.

Remember: Energy flows where attention goes.

So how do you change your feelings to ones of abundance when the news, advertising and maybe even your family and friends are all talking about economic "hard times," dwindling resources and a lack of jobs?

Try one or all of these:

(1) This one comes from the movie, "The Secret." Get yourself a "gratitude rock." If not a rock, then some other item that you decide will be your trigger for putting your focus on all the wonderful things you already have in your life. In hypnotherapy terms, this item will become your "anchor" to switch your thoughts from habitually thinking about what you don't have to the new thoughts you want to make a habit. Carry your anchor with you. Every time you touch it or see it, stop and mentally list all the wonderful things you already have in your life. Again, and I will repeat this over and over, this is a process so at first you may feel as though you're really reaching for things. Just keep at it. You'll find that with a little time you are truly feeling grateful for a number of wonderful things that already exist in your life - right here and right now. How about good friends? Or a loving pet? Or a favorite book? They are all part of the abundance and richness of life.

(2) This one comes from prosperity master Edwene Gaines. Buy something that you can afford that will make you feel rich. When Edwene Gaines had no money and was working toward manifesting a trip to Mexico City, she bought olives with almonds in them because she believed that they were the type of thing that rich people ate. She, therefore, felt rich when she ate them. And she did manifest the money to pay for the trip to Mexico City. I have an antique amber ring that I wear when I want to feel rich. It's not really an expensive piece of jewelry. It is, however, quite ostentatious and it puts me into a feeling of being abundant when I wear it. It's my power ring and I know I can make good things happen when I'm wearing it - no matter what my checkbook might say at the time.

(3) This one comes from Oprah. Keep a gratitude journal. Writing down all the things for which you are grateful sends a very powerful message to your subconscious mind and to the higher intelligence from which all abundance flows. Make it a habit. Every night before you go to bed, write down at least five things for which you are grateful from the day. If you set an intention to make it five new things each night, you will start focusing on noticing new things for which to be grateful. As you do, you will find that you are surrounded by abundance. Your list doesn't have to be about big things that happened that day. Even small things, such as seeing a hummingbird outside your window, are worthy of your gratitude. Be grateful for everything.

One final point: If you followed the instructions on how to set an intention from my earlier post, Setting a clear intention, you will have described your life as you want it to be. You will have written down all the elements of that life, not just money in the bank. As I said earlier, money is a tool. When you think rich and think abundantly, you're subconscious mind has no choice but to make it happen. You will be inspired. You will suddenly see opportunities you may have missed before. Your life will grow even richer in all areas, including your finances.

Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls."

Find the bliss in your life right now and those doors will start opening.

Oh, and if you start to focus solely on money or the lack thereof, and think that having more money is going to make you happy, I have four words for you:  Lindsay Lohan  Michael Jackson

Be playful

Sometimes creating the life that you want can get very serious. It has happened to me. You aren't seeing the results you expected so you begin to wonder. . .

"Am I doing this right?" "Am I concentrating hard enough?" "Am I visualizing it right?" "Oh, no, I've been thinking I can't do this. Have I ruined it?" "Why isn't this working?"

Stop. Relax. This isn't a final exam with your whole future weighed in the balance. This isn't the big game with seconds to go and you've got the ball.

This is a joyous process with the emphasis on "joyous."

You've been conditioned to be competitive.  From the moment you arrive in this world, you're being tested, measured, compared and judged.

At what age did you learn to walk? Was it "early," "late" or "normal"? What grades did you get in school? Were you chosen for the softball team? Did you get a part in the school play? But more importantly, how did the people around you react to those situations, which would have determined how you ended up feeling about them?

Unfortunately, you may have ended up feeling inadequate in some way. Labels may have been attached to you that you adopted into your belief system. "I'm not good enough." "I have to try harder." "I have to practice more."

While it's true that there are certain skills you need to work hard at or practice a lot before you become proficient in them - learning to walk and talk are just two of those skills that require a lot of trial, error and practice in order to learn how to do them - the learning process doesn't have to be a chore, an unpleasant experience, something that makes your brain hurt just thinking about it.

Active creating doesn't have to be a chore, either. Nor should it make your brain hurt trying to get it right.

The first point is: Stop thinking in terms of right or wrong. You may not like your life the way it is now but it's not wrong. It just is. Yes, you may have to practice thinking in a new way. Thinking is a habit, after all. But there's nothing wrong with the way you've been thinking. You were using the information and skills you had been given. You did the best you could with the tools at hand. If you're not happy with the results, change the tools you used to create those results.

Second point: Have fun. Look for the humor when things don't happen in the way you expected or in the exact way you thought you were intending. Here's what I mean.

In my neighborhood, when people want to get rid of furniture, they put it out on the curb for pick up. I decided I needed a chest of drawers for a closet in order to organize my clothes better. I put the intention out "there" that I would find a chest of drawers out on the curb.

I have a dog so we take frequent walks around the neighborhood. The very next day I saw a chest of drawers out on the curb, exactly as I had intended. Unfortunately, it was too big for the space in my closet. So I simply said, "Thank you God but I want a smaller one."

A few days later there was another chest of drawers out on the curb for pick up. It was definitely smaller but two of the drawers were broken. I started laughing. Okay. "Thank you God but I want it to be in good condition, too."

Well, I can't tell you how many chests of drawers I saw out on the curb for pick up. I stopped counting after five. It seemed as though everyone was getting rid of chests of drawers. This went on for several weeks and I never did find the right chest of drawers out on the street. However, each time I saw a chest of drawers I started laughing.  It became a game to see what would be out on the curb that day when I went for a walk with my dog. I was having fun watching how the Universe was manifesting chests of drawers for me in amazing ways. Some of them were truly ugly, in my opinion, and I delighted in those the most.

My point is that I turned it into a game. I didn't panic thinking I wasn't doing this right. I allowed myself to realize that the right chest of drawers would come to me in its own way. Right now, I was having a good time seeing the variety of manifestations I was producing.

By the way, I did get the perfect chest of drawers. It happened after I stopped trying to force the issue, accepted that the intention would be fulfilled, and allowed it to come in whatever way it would. It came through a friend who didn't know I was looking for a chest of drawers. She just decided she didn't need this one anymore. I happened to be standing in the room with her at the time. She turned to me and asked, "Could you use a chest of drawers?" I started laughing and quickly said, "Yes" with a silent thank you to God for sending me the perfect answer to my need.

If you start to take the process of active creating too seriously, start turning it into a test or a competition in which you have to excel, you'll defeat the purpose. You'll start working from a point of fear. You'll just get more fear.

Edwene Gaines is one of my favorite prosperity masters. She urges her students to first find the joy in everything, no matter what. She says to find the joy in even the most mundane of every day chores, including, "taking out the kitty litter." When you feel joyous and abundant even in the face of what might seem tedious and poor, you will be well on your way to attracting joyous abundance into your life.

Fun. Joy. Enthusiasm. Those are the real tools of active creating. The other "tools" are really rituals to get you to the place of fun, joy and enthusiasm.

One last note. Affirmations are one of the rituals you can use to help you change your way of thinking to change your life. I have turned mine into be-bop songs that I dance to around the house. They're a lot more fun that way.

So, be playful. Have fun. Enjoy the experience. And know that what you truly want will come when you let go of the fear and the pressure to get it right.

Setting a clear intention

Setting a clear intention is not always easy to do. You may have a tendency to be more focused on what you see around you than what is possible.  In other words, your attention is on the here and now. Your job. Where you live. Your relationships. Your health. If they are not what you'd hoped for, then you have a problem.

Energy flows where attention goes.

The more you focus on what already exists, the more of the same you will attract into your life.

If you want to change "what is" to "what can be," then you need to shift your focus. You need to find a new vision of your life - a vision of what you want, not what you don't want or not what you're willing to settle for or accept as your lot in life.

The difficulty lies in that it is generally easier to know what you don't want. You can see what you don't want all around you. But, that is actually a great place to start when you want to change your reality.

You can take all the things you don't want and turn them around into what you do want by asking yourself some questions.

Here's one way to do this:

Let's say you are unhappy with your job. Sit down and make a list of all the things you dislike about your job. For example: (1) It's repetitive. (2) It's boring. (3) It's mindless. (4) It's a dead end. (5) It doesn't pay very well. Now, you've identified some specifics. You've also given yourself into some insights as to the type of job you do want: (1) a job that is changing all the time (2) each day is different, something new happens (3) so that I have to think in different ways and maybe solve problems (5) for a company that offers possible advancement and (5) pays a high salary.

Now ask yourself, "What types of jobs or occupations meet my new criteria?" Write them all down. No matter whether or not you think you are qualified to do the job. Just write it down. It could be a job in sales or maybe even nursing or teaching. Whatever job comes to mind that you think would fit the list of things that would be good in a job.

"Impossible," you say. "I've only ever worked on an assembly line. I can't sell and I'm not trained as a nurse."

Stop right there. As long as you keep thinking that way, you'll keep working at the same or similar jobs that don't satisfy you. It's time to forget what has been and currently is. It's time to set an intention for what can be.

And here's the good news. Once you set an intention to find a job that matches the qualities you've identified as the things you want in your job, your subconscious mind will start to help you find the way.

Your focus will be on what you do want, so suddenly you may spot an ad for evening courses in becoming a real estate agent or nurses training. The ad may have been there for months but because you weren't focused on sales or nursing, you never saw the ad before. You now have an opportunity to take an action toward changing your situation.

Obviously, for the sake of brevity, I've simplified the process somewhat. But even taking just one small step can lead to huge changes.

Active Creating is a participatory process. You can't just read the information. You have to take action.

Your Action Steps then for setting a clear intention are:

(1) Start somewhere and start now. It doesn't have to be perfect. You just need to do something.
(2) Choose one area of your life that you would most like to change. A lot of people right now are focused on finances and maybe you are too. Or you may have a health problem that you'd like to fix. Whatever it is, decide that this is the issue you want to change first.
(3) Take a piece of paper and write down all the negative things about your current situation as it relates to the area of your life that you have chosen to change first.
(4) Now, look at the things you've written and ask yourself,  "How can I state that in a positive way?" Or, "What would be the opposite?" Using the example of finances: "I'm broke all the time" to "I am making more money."
(5) Choose one of your positive statements and describe what your life would be like if that were true. Be as creative and specific as possible. Again, sticking with the example of finances, describe what your house would look like. What clothes would you wear? What job would you have? How would you feel when you got up in the morning? What hobbies would you have?

You've just set your first intention. Your description of how your life would be if one of your positive statements were true is your intention of the life you want to have.

Keep that piece of paper. Read it over as many times as you can throughout the day. At the very least, read it every morning and every night just before you go to bed. Start getting into pretending it is true. Feel that it is true. Imagine yourself seeing your friends and relatives excited about your new life. See yourself having people over to your new home. Be playful and have fun.

Don't worry about the "how." As all the metaphysicians and new age thinkers will tell you, "How is not your job." The more real you make it, the more you'll activate the power of your subconscious mind in finding ways to make it true. Your subconscious mind doesn't know what's real or what's imaginary. It responds to your emotions and feelings. The more you can feel rich, the more the power of your mind will work to find ways to respond to those feelings. You may get an idea on how to turn a hobby into a money-making venture. You may hear about a job opening that offers a higher salary.

In the wonderful words of Captain Pickard from "Star Trek: The Next Generation," once you set an intention you are telling your mind to "Make it so."

Again, there are a number of different ways to help you set a clear intention. This is just one. But the key is to do something.

If you would like help or additional information on how to set a clear intention, you can request a complimentary copy of "Intentional Change," a workbook of different methods for setting a clear intention with worksheets to help guide you through the process. To request your free copy, email me at: service@activecreating.com

I lied

In my last post I said that the next one would be on setting a clear intention. However, as I sat down to write, I realized that I should probably explain a few things about the active creating process before moving forward. Nothing "earth-shattering" but possibly helpful nonetheless.

While I have numbered and ordered the five steps to active creating in a certain sequence, they are not necessarily sequential.

For example, even though it's listed as Step 5, an attitude of gratitude is something you can start practicing right now before doing anything else.

Step 2 is about eliminating negative or limiting beliefs. However, you may need to work on eliminating these beliefs before you are able to set a clear intention. In fact, eliminating limiting beliefs tends to be an ongoing process. Some may be so deeply entrenched within your subconscious mind that it's going to take time just to uncover them. Since these beliefs are formed early in your life, they may also be extremely tenacious and require more time before they let go.

You will also continue to run into obstacles or challenges along the way. They are part of the human experience. They do not automatically mean that you are doing something wrong or that you're not working hard enough on one of the steps.

First, active creating should not be hard work. Some of the tips and techniques I will be sharing with you can be a lot of fun and rather playful.

Second, an obstacle may mean you're heading in the wrong direction. Just don't assume it. The obstacle or challenge could be just that: a temporary block that needs to be cleared or overcome. Before you throw in the towel and give up, explore some different options. Examine the situation more closely. Or just let it "stew" for a while and let your "gut" feelings guide you.

Finally, relax. Remember, your thoughts are simply habits. It takes time to change a habit and create a new one. When doubts or old limiting beliefs show up - and they will - just say, "Thank you," and let them go.

I'll be discussing each of these points in greater detail as I explain the active creating process. But, for now, I wanted to make sure I hadn't confused you by numbering the steps. I also wanted to touch on a couple of the more common misconceptions about the process of creating your own reality.

Next blog will be about setting a clear intention. Truly. Honest. Well, maybe. Or not. You see, one of the wonderful benefits about active creating is that once you tune in to your inner voice, you will begin to trust your inspirational guidance system. And sometimes you will be inspired to go in a different direction than the one you originally intended.

But, then, life is a journey, not a destination. So, sit back and enjoy the ride.

Welcome to Active Creating

You create your own reality. Pure and simple.

If you believe you are a victim of circumstances, that things happen to you because of outside sources, you are doomed to continually be a victim. But it is because you believe it to be so. Not because it is necessarily reality. It is a choice. It is what you focus on. You can change your choices and change your focus. When you do, you will change your life.

If you saw the movie, "The Secret," then you heard the authors, teachers, writers, life coaches, and scientists talk about how most people focus on "what is" or what they "don't want." And they are amazed when they keep getting more of what they already have - stress, bills, an unhappy relationship - or what they don't want - stress, bills, an unhappy relationship. You get the picture.

While the movie had some excellent points (mainly introducing the concept of "The Law of Attraction" to millions of viewers), it really was just an overview.

There is more to creating the life you truly desire than simply thinking something into existence. It does, however, start inside your mind. And your mind will be the driving force behind all that you do.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you possess. The power of the subconscious mind cannot be measured. It has been the driving force behind every great leader, teacher, inventor and scientist. Everything that exists started as an idea in someone's mind. But the idea alone is not enough to make it so.

There are certain steps you will need to take to turn an idea into form. I call them "The Five Steps of Active Creating."

They are:

1. Set or identify a clear intention or desire.
2. Look for and eliminate limiting beliefs.
3. Visualize and feel as if it already is completed.
4. Take inspired actions and keep on taking them.
5. Maintain an "attitude of gratitude" no matter what.

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Martin Luther King, Jr.


Over the next few weeks I will be going over each of the steps in more detail. A web site of tools, techniques and resources is also currently under construction.

In the meantime, you can subscribe to my blog and follow my posts as they become available. Or, to get started right now, subscribe to my weekly newsletter for some quick tips and tools to get you over some of the biggest hurdles most people face when first learning the process of active creating.

Next post will be on setting a clear intention.